October 3, 2002

CLASSIER THAN ROAD RAGE

Seems like the charming practice of challenging those who piss you off to a duel is staging a comeback. Last week, an aristocrat in Scotland challenged the chairman of a Scottish law firm to a duel after he claimed that the firm was responsible for bankrupting his family. According to Scotland's Law Society, despite the fact that "trial by combat" (great euphemism!) was never repealed, the two men will have to settle their differences in court. (Ananova)Meanwhile, halfway around the world, a Peruvian congressman challenged that country's vice-president to a pistol duel after being called a coward. "He has branded me a coward. Now he has the chance to prove I'm a coward," said the congressman, "I challenge him to a duel. Since I'm the offended one, I choose a pistol." No word on whether duels are still legal in Peru, where the last duel was fought in 1957, when two political rivals fought a sabre duel which ended in a draw. (Ananova)

SHORT PEOPLE GOT NO REASON TO WORK

The United Nation's Human Rights and Anti-Discriminational Committee has upheld a French law which bans "dwarf-tossing," after a French dwarf (sorry, little person) tried to have the law struck down so that he could go back to work. Manuel Wackenheim argued that his livelihood had been lost after the French ban on dwarf-tossing came into effect in the mid-90's and he lost his job, which consisted of being thrown around in discos and nightclubs by bouncers. The UN didn't think that was a dignified way to earn a living. They upheld the ban "in order to protect public order and considerations of human dignity." Now the dwarf is free to get a real job like cooking fries at McDonald's. Although he's probably not tall enough to see over the counter, at least he'll have his dignity. (BBC).

 


BUMFIGHTS IN COURT
A few months ago we learned about four
"filmmakers" from Las Vegas who were making a killing with
their $19.99 Bumfights video, in which they filmed homeless
people beating the crap out of each other for some booze or
food. Last week, the four were arrested in San Diego county
and charged with soliciting to commit a felony and
conspiring to pay someone to fight. I wouldn't hold my
breath waiting for justice though, considering that these
guys are all millionaires after selling over 300,000 copies
of the original Bumfights video, which, along with the
violence, includes a man setting his hair on fire, a man
pulling out a tooth with pliers, and a man  riding a
shopping cart down a steep hill. The lawyer for the boys
claims that there is no law on the books against what they
have done. "I'm hard pressed to find out what the criminal
activity is," he says, "they consider themselves underground
documentary makers."   
   
(www.bumfights.com)
 


IF YOU MUST WASTE YOUR MONEY, SEND IT TO ME
Another warning
has been issued to gullible consumers who purchase
miraculous sounding health products over the net. Basically
the warning is this: the internet is loaded with scams, and
virtually every offer that sounds too good to be true is
designed to part you with your cash. No kidding! But for
those of you who insist on wasting your money, the
International Marketing Supervision Network has set up a
website at www.econsumer.gov where complaints can be filed.
Among the top health scams reported to the IMSN are
multi-coloured shirts that claim to make you smarter,
lotions and fragrances which will spice up your sex life,
salt crystal lamps to enhance your immune system, fountain
of youth treatments to turn back the aging process, magnetic
fields and silver suspended in water to help cure AIDS, and
dozens more.
 


GOOD THING JOE WASN'T WEARING A TURBAN
Maybe America's
paranoia has gone far enough, ya think? British tourist Judy
Powell had her luggage searched last week at Los Angeles
airport, and when the security goons came upon a toy G.I.
Joe doll which she had bought for her grandson, they
proceeded to confiscate the two-inch long replica Armalite
rifle which the toy was packing. "They examined the toy as
if it was going to shoot them," said Powell. Security chiefs
justified their ludicrous raid in true fascist style: "We
have instructions to confiscate anything that looks like a
weapon or a replica...if GI Joe was carrying a replica then
it had to be taken from him."  

(The Sun UK)
 


RELIGIOUS MIRACLE OF THE WEEK
Last week it was Thais
seeking their lotto numbers from a frog which was guarding a
puddle in the shape of the Buddha's footprint. This week
their neighbours in Cambodia are lining up in droves to have
their rheumatism cured by a licks from a magic cow. It
started when the cow cured his owner's leg pains. "I was
having problems with my legs and could not walk to school,
but one day the cow...came up to me and rubbed its horn
against my leg. Afterwards I could walk fine," he told a
local newspaper. Authorities are trying to make sure nobody
is being ripped off, and, although they will don't see much
of a problem if people believe the magic cow can cure them,
one official advised that if people are seriously ill "I
would urge them to go to hospital instead of magic cows."
(Reuters)
 


IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM, JOIN 'EM
A couple of innovative
solutions to Thailand's problem with methamphetamine addicts
were proposed in the Thai legislature last week. Budget
committee member Chai Chidchob suggested that the government
could make a healthy profit by selling confiscated drugs to
foreign and domestic hospitals. One of his colleagues then
stepped up to suggest that it would be even better if the
Thai government produced it's own methamphetamines, and then
sell them directly to speed addicts, undercutting illegal
dealers and putting them out of business. For some reason,
neither idea has been accepted. (Bangkok Post) 
 


SO MUCH FOR MY FAITH IN KARMA
A Turkish woman who gave a
beggar a jar of rice a few weeks ago is now desperately
trying to find him after she realized that she had hidden
her life savings in the bottom of the jar. (AFP)

 

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