December 23, 1999
FIRST, THE GOOD NEWS
We've all heard that
suicides go way up around Christmas time. It sounds feasible:
the combination of bad Xmas muzak, enforced feel-good family
gatherings, and maxed-out credit cards can make anyone want to
celebrate with a few cyanide shooters. But according to the
National Centre for Health Statistics,suicide rates actually
decline around the holidays, with December having the fewest
suicides of any month. The NCHS also states that there are more
suicides than murders every year, so the the most likely person
to kill you isŠyou. You might want to stay away from sharp
objects after those rum 'n' eggnogs kick in.
KILL YOURSELF, GET OUT OF JAIL
A British prison reform group has
asked the Prison Service to grant home leave to convicts over the
millennium holidays to prevent them from committing suicide. Officials
decided not to make any changes to the rules, fearing that rewarding
at-risk prisoners would encourage other prisoners to harm themselves, or
threaten suicide. (Reuters)
MORE DEADLY STATS
The continuing
low-status of women in China has contributed to an epidemic of suicides
in that country. The Women's International Network Newsreports that an
average of 500 Chinese women commit suicide every day, about five times
the global average. Combined with the traditionally poor treatment of
females is the Chinese notion that suicide is "a demonstration of
strength and convictionŠa time-honored resort of women who have been
maligned, dishonored, shamed, or wronged." (Utne Reader)
SCARY HARE
KARE
Japan's deepest recession in 50 years has brought more than salary
cuts and corporate restructuring. 1998 saw a record of 32,863 suicides in
Japan, up 35 per cent from previous years. Of these 6,058 were clearly
caused by economic difficulties, an increase of 70 percent! In March, a
Japanese court ruled for the first time that a company employee was
driven to suicide by overwork and ordered the government to compensate
the family. (Nexus)
BLAME A BOOK
This 35 per cent rise in suicides
in Japan has prompted authorities to consider banning The Complete Manual
of Suicide,by Turumi Wataru. The suicide manual has sold 1.2 million
copies in the past six years, and teaches people ten ways to "leave this
troubled world whenever you choose." It compares methods of suicide in
terms of pain, speed and disfigurement. (London Guardian)
UNHAPPY
LITTLE ELVES
Unionized shopping mall employees in Brazil have refused to
wear red Santa hats during the pre-Christmas shopping rush, due to
temperatures of over 30 degrees Celsius (it's summer in Brazil right
now). Besides, the workers said, they "felt ridiculous" wearing the hats.
No doubt. (Reuters)
THE END IS NEAR (LIKE, IN NINE DAYS)
A CSIS
report warns that end-time cults may resort to violence as the new
millenium dawns, in order to bring about their doomsday predictions. The
report claims that as many as 400 "doomsday religious movements" (a third
of the 1200 cults worldwide) have stockpiled weapons, and may use
violence either to help trigger a hoped-for apocalypse or to create chaos
if the apocalypse doesn't happen. The FBI has just release a similar
report, entilted Project Megiddo, which warns "the volatile mix of
apocalyptic religious andŠconspiracy theories may produce violent acts
aimed at precipitating the end of the world as prophesied in the Bible."
Interestingly, neither report states that either government agency is
doing much about it. (National Post)
PATENT NO. 666?
Applied
Digital Solutions, Inc., announced last Thursday that it has purchased
the patent rights to a "miniature digital receiver," a device that can be
implanted under the skin and tracked by Global Positioning Satellite
technology. Company spin doctors, who call their chip "Digital
Angel"claim such positive uses as "providing a tamper-proof means of
identification for enhanced e-business security, locating lost or missing
individuals, tracking the location of valuable property and monitoring
the medical conditions of at-risk patients." Yeah, right, sounds great,
where do I sign away my soul? (www.adsx.com)
M.A.R.C.C. OF THE B.E.A.S.T.
According to researchers Sean David Morton
and Michael Douglass, the American military is tagging GI's with a
tracking chip called a "Multiple Automated Readout Computer Chip"
(MARCC). This chip, presumably, will help the army locate POW's and MIA's
in future conflicts. These chips are monitored by military supercomputers
called "Battle Engagement Arena Simulation and Tracking" (BEAST)
computers. (Sightings)
HALF A BRAIN
A few brilliant thieves in
Colombia made off with 756 shoes valued at US$16,583. Unfortunately, they
were all for the right foot‹their matching left halves were safely locked
away in a storeroom. (Bizarre magazine)
HARSH
When seven-year-old
Lydia Ann Hanson went to school and told her teacher "My mom is dead,"
she was told to be quiet and sit down. After school, the girl went home,
heated up some leftovers, then watched TV with her dead mom and slept
beside her in bed, reports the Boston Globe.
GHOSTS AND ALIENS
BRING DOWN GOD
A new poll conducted in the U.K. found that 67 per cent
of 15 to 24-year-olds have some belief in ghosts, and 61 per cent have
some belief in aliens, but only 39 per cent have any belief in God.
(www.the-journal-co.uk)
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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt
(604) 803-7485
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
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