May 30, 2002

I'M THISCLOSE TO GOING VEGAN

Scientists in Israel have created this "Naked Chicken," which, they claim, will be the future king of the slaughterhouse, citing its faster growing, low-calorie meat and it's totally unnecessary feathers, which they say, "are a waste," since the feathers need to be plucked and disposed of, and since factory farmers will no longer need to spend money on air conditioning to keep chickens cool. And somewhere, Mother Nature is weeping...

YOU CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE, OR HEAR, OR READ, ETC...

Scientists at MIT have perfected the first realistic videos which show people saying things which they never actually said. A new computer-generated animation system is able to take two to four minutes of a person speaking into a video camera, and can manipulate the images in order to have the person speak any made up phrase, even words in a different language. The technology is now powerful enough to "fool viewers consistently" for a few sentences. After that, the manufactured images seem to lack emotion, they say, tipping off viewers that what they are watching is fake. (Boston Globe)

LET ME MAKE YOU HAPPY, BABY

The medical journal Archives of Sexual Behavior is set to publish some remarkable findings from researchers at New York University which seems to indicate that a man's sperm contains anti-depressant chemicals and hormones which make woman happier. The study logged the sexual activities of 300 women and found that women who had sex without condoms were happier than women who had sex with condoms or women who didn't have sex. The study also found that women who have unprotected sex were less likely to commit suicide, but became increasingly depressed the longer they went without sex.

SORE LOSER? BECOME A WINNER IN COURT

The former Hooters waitress who filed a lawsuit against the restaurant after they awarded her a "Toy Yoda" rather than the Toyota she was expecting to receive after winning a beer-selling contest, seems to have won her lawsuit. After the undisclosed settlement, her attorney said that she could now "pick out whatever type of Toyota she wants." (AP)

SNEAKY LITTLE BASTARDS

According to researchers from Southern Methodist University in Texas, Earth is under attack from tiny cosmic missiles which are only about the size of a pollen grain but weigh several tons. The researchers believe that these "strangelets" sometimes tear right through our entire planet, entering at a speed of about 900,000 mph and exiting out the other side. Two such events seem to have occurred in 1993. In one, a seismometer recorded a violent impact in Antarctica, and then 26 seconds later, the strangelet seems to have come out the other side of the planet through the floor of the Indian Ocean, where another sharp seismographic signal was recorded. (Sunday Telegraph)

KRESKIN SEES UFOs

The Amazing Kreskin has found his way into the news again, by making the wildest prediction of his career, and putting his money where his mouth is by offering up $50,000 if he's wrong. Kreskin has forecast that the largest UFO sighting in recorded history will occur over Nevada in May or June. "I am absolutely convinced that in May or June of this year the largest sighting to date will take place in the Nevada desert, probably the largest sighting in the past century," he writes on his website, and is offering to donate $50,000 to charity if his prediction is wrong. (amazingkreskin.com)

THINK YOU'RE WORKING LONG HOURS?

Karoshi, or death by overwork, has risen to record numbers in Japan over the past year. The Japanese Health Ministry reported that work-related deaths stemming from stress, mental disorder or depression, claimed a record 143 deaths in the past year, a jump of over 68 per cent. Officials fear that Karoshi deaths will continue to rise as Japanese companies move away from the traditional life-time employment system. The Ministry revealed that workers dying from Karoshi were working over 100 hours of overtime in the month before their deaths, and an average of over 80 hours of overtime for two to six months before death. (Reuters)

AND I WOULD HAVE HIRED REAL PROSTITUTES INSTEAD OF THOSE GREASY CONVICTS

A British man who was wrongly imprisoned for 11 years for a murder in 1987 is being charged £37,158 for "room and board" while he was in jail. Michael O'Brien has hired a lawyer to fight the charges, which were subtracted from a £648,000 cash settlement he received in compensation for his wrongful imprisonment. "I would have ordered caviar and chips if I knew I was going to be charged," he explained. (BBC)

IDIOTS WITH GUNS

A Texan woman who tested her friend's gun by firing it at a frying pan ended up in the hospital with the bullet lodged above her right eye after it ricocheted back at her. (Ananova)

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