December 16, 1999
NEWS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR
Anyone caught in the crossfire of tear
gas in Seattle last week and suffering from any of the
following symptoms are urged to contact Dr. Kirk Murphy
of the Direct Action Network Medic Team: abrupt onset of
menstration, vomiting or diarrhea, temporary impairment
of vision, confusion, brief unconsciousness, convulsions
or delayed burning. These symptoms have raised the
harrowing possibility that the National Guard used the
WTO protesters as guinea pigs for a newly developed nerve
agent. Protestors who were gassed on Wednesday (after the
National Guard arrived) are exhibiting symptoms not
connected with tear gas or pepperspray, but with
non-lethal neurotoxins used in
chemical weapons. Contact Dr. Murphy at kmurphy@ucla.edu.
EAT THE RICH (WELL, EAT THEIR FOOD, ANYWAY)
On the
heels of the success of direct action down in Seattle, a
Montreal group stormed the posh Chateau Champlain hotel
last Thursday and "reappropriated" pricey buffet food in
order to feed it to panhandlers and streetpeople. The
commandos decree: "these food-grab actions are done
during the Christmas season, when we hear all this crap
about helping the poor and homeless. The poor should just
help themselves, which is what they did today."
ONE
HARD YEAR
The Catholic Doctors' Association in Malaysia
had planned to award a year's supply of Viagra to the
winner of its charity golf tournament, but chose to award
cash instead, after Pfizer Inc., makers of the drug,
advised them that such a prize would "promote
irresponsible and reckless use." Spoil sports. (Bizarre
magazine)
CHIPPING AWAY AT YOUR PRIVACY
Last year,
University of Reading professor Kevin Warwick had a
computer chip implanted in his body as part of an
experiment in controlling computers remotely without
keyboard or mouse. In an interview with the television
show Beyond 2000,in which he was asked about future
applications of this technology, the professor gave some
troubling scenarios. "With the type of implant I have,
what you could actually do now is have a credit card as
an implantŠ(another) possibility also is say, for
businesses who want to track their employees, they will
pay you a salary if you have an implant. That way they
can check on you when you go to the toilet, what time you
come in, etceteraŠ" And dock your pay every time you pee,
I suppose.
SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA
A civil
liberties group called Privacy International has given
the U.K. town of Newham its annual "Big Brother" award,
for installing a surveillance network of more than 200
cameras that watch over the town's residents. The cameras
employ a newly developed facial-recognition system that
can automatically pick out known criminals (like
jaywalkers?) and alert authorities as to their
whereabouts. This technology, known as "biometrics" is
receiving $11.7 million in funding from the Pentagon for
the year 2000, who plan on developing a system that can
"identify subjects from distances of between 100 and 500
feet‹subjects who probably don't want to be identified."
(Scientific American)
WHAT'S THE POINT?
Convicted
killer David Lond, imprisoned in Huntsville, Texas,
managed to get his December 6 execution date postponed
after attempting to commit suicide by overdosing on
opiates. Prison officials rushed him to a hospital in
order to keep him alive, presumably so they could give
him his lethal injection later in the day.
EAT, LIKE, A PIG
The first successfully franchised
restaurant in China is Shen Qing's Baked Pig Face, which
now boasts seven locations (that's one for every 150
million Chinese, no wonder they're successful). Their
specialties include the 30-herb whole pig's head and the
roast ox penis, but connoisseurs particularly relish the
brain, the eating of which, the restaurant claims, "can
make you smarter." (Wall Street Journal)
INVENTIONS
WE CAN LIVE WITHOUT
Harvard University is taking the
Canadian government to court in order to receive a patent
for genetically modified mice which they have created for
research purposes (the mice are genetically engineered
to be predisposed to developing cancer). The government
argues that patents are for inventions and that Harvard
didn't "invent" the mice, but America and Japan have
already granted the patent. (CBC)
WHO WANTS TO
WATCH ANOTHER REALLY DUMB SHOW?
Next Entertainment
production company is looking for brides-to-be to get
married live on the air, for their planned television
special Who Wants To Marry A Multi-millionaire?Are those
TV execs running out of ideas, or what? (UPI)
GETTING SMASHED
Hundreds of Chinese have been injured,
blinded, or killed in the past year due to exploding beer
bottles. It seems most of China's breweries use thin soy
sauce or vinegar bottles which cannot handle the pressure
of CO2. (All About Beer Magazine)
GOING, GOING,
GOING...
A McGill University study published in the the
October issue of Conservation Biologyclaims that North
America's freshwater animals are the most endangered
species group on the continent. The researchers stated
that common freshwater species, from snails to fish to
amphibians, are dying out five times faster than land
species, and three times faster than coastal marine
mammals.
MUTUAL ASSURED BOREDOM
The U.S. Congress
has revealed plans to turn a Minuteman nuclear missile
silo in South Dakota into a Cold War Museum. (AP)
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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt
(604) 803-7485
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
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