May 9, 2002

I ALSO HOLD THE RECORD FOR WORLD'S BLACKEST LUNGS

Stefan Sigmund of Transylvania smokes 800 cigarettes in less than six minutes, breaking his 1995 record of 750. (Bizarre Magazine).

DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY

No doubt you've heard of the Placebo effect, in which people recover from illnesses even though they are given non-medicinal pills. Now scientists are beginning to study the Nocebo effect, which states that people who believe they will get sick or die, usually do. Among the evidence starting to be compiled are these examples of the Nocebo effect: women who believe they are prone to heart disease are nearly four times more likely to die early than those who didn't, despite not ever having heart disease; nearly 100 per cent of people who are convinced they will die during an operation, or hope to die in order to "re-connect" with a dead relative, will die during the operation; patients warned about side effects from a drug are almost three times as likely to develop those side effects than those who are not warned; some allergy sufferers will start sneezing at artificial flowers; during an experiment, two-thirds of subjects who were told they would be receiving a mild electric shock through their heads, developed headaches, despite no shock therapy ever being applied. Scientists who are studying the phenomena believe this may even explain the power of a voodoo curse, in which a hex is so powerful that a victim dies of fright. (Washington Post)

I SEE YET ANOTHER CHEAP B-MOVIE HORROR SCRIPT IN THE MAKING

Scientists have created remotely-controlled rat robots, "Ratbots," which can be controlled from as far as 1,640 feet away (a distance of five football fields). Electrodes implanted into the rats' brains command the animals to run straight, turn left or right, climb trees, or dig through debris. After each successful maneuver, the controller remotely stimulates a pleasure center in the rat's brain, in order to keep it working happily. In the future, Ratbots will be outfitted with video cameras and sent into disaster areas to look for survivors. (CNN)

AND ONE MORE FROM THE B-MOVIE SCRIPT SLUSHPILE

Scientists at the University of California are designing a genetically engineered species of bacteria which they hope will be able to eat the world's stockpiles of toxic chemicals. The genetically modified version of the E coli bacteria would also be able to break down pesticides, herbicides and fertilizers. (Ananova)

CURIOUS GEORGE GOES TO COURT

A group of animal activists known as The Chimpanzee Colaboratory have launched a campaign which would allow chimpanzees to receive the same kind of legal representation as children. This would allow humans to act as legal guardians for chimps, and give them the right to open lawsuits to protect the animals from exploitation. (BBC)

GET 'EM WHILE THEY LAST

Japan is about to close a legal loop-hole which had allowed the sale and possession of magic mushrooms, despite that countries repressive drug laws regarding every other substance. Street vendors, head shops, magazines and web sites have been openly selling European and Hawaiian magic mushrooms for years, but will be outlawed as of June 6. (Reuters)

IT LOOKS LIKE FUN, BUT HOW CAN WE BE SURE?

A German couple who were planning on buying a waterbed hid in the department store until after hours in order to give the bed a test drive while they had sex. After they were done, they set off the alarms as they left through the emergency exit. The store decided not to press charges, and they were let go with only a warning. Let's hope they were at least forced to clean the stains off the mattress. (Reuters)

FRESH MEAT

In America, May is National Barbecue Month. In celebration, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has released a press release urging us all to eat road kill rather than store-bought flesh. Buying factory farmed meat products, they point out, condemns animals to a life of extreme pain and misery, whereas animals crushed by your car as you cruise down the highway live freely with their families until they are squashed. "By eating squirrels and raccoons accidentally killed on highways, meat addicts can get their fix and help keep America clean," they explained. peta.org

NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION

Who said kids these days aren't ingenious? The Libertatea newspaper out of Romania reports that a teenager was arrested after he tried to pay a prostitute with fake money which he had printed up on his computer at home. Police also uncovered home-made bus passes and doctors' certificates allowing the boy to skip school.

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU SHOP

A Thriftway in Seattle has become the first supermarket to install new technology which will allow customers to pay with a scan of their fingerprint. After passing your index finger over the scanner, the charges are automatically debited from your bank account or credit card. A McDonald's restaurant in California has already tested the system, claiming that customers love it, because " it takes the cash out of the hands of 18-year-old clerks." (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

THE PRINCE OF COMEDY

Prince Philip has caused a mild uproar after cracking a politically-incorrect (yet highly amusing) joke during a royal tour. Speaking to a blind, wheelchair-bound woman accompanied by her seeing-eye dog, Prince Philip remarked "Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" Earlier this year, the royal comedian asked a group of Australian aborigines if they still threw spears at each other. (Reuters)

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