March 21, 2002
STOP EATING POISON
A request through the Freedom of Information Act
has unveiled a report from the American Food and Drug Administration
which lists 92 symptoms caused by ingesting Aspartame. This proves
what many researchers have been claiming for years, that Aspartame
(particularly its methanol component) is a known toxic poison which
was only approved by the FDA under political force in order to make
some sick fucks great gobs of cash. The list of side effects from
eating aspartame obtained from the FDA includes brain cancer, chronic
fatigue, depression, hearing loss, migraines, nausea, seizures, vision
loss and death. Check out the entire list and a thorough explanation
of why aspartame is poisonous at www.dorway.com .
SIMULTANEOUSLY SMASHING THE RECORD FOR FAKE ORGASMS
Polish porn star
Klaudia Figura has won the First Annual Gangbang Championship and set
a new world sexual record by having sex with 646 men during a one-day
session. In order to break the record, Figura had sex from 10 a.m.
until 5:58 p.m., having the officially required 30 to 60 seconds of
sexual contact with each participant. Jim Malibu, co-producer of the
event, made sure there were no shortcuts. "It is amazing," he said,
"Each sex contact was carefully watched, rated, and counted by a
judge." No doubt. The event was also filmed by six cameras, and the
video will soon be available. (www.rexmag.com)
DRUG DEALING FOR DUMMIES
St. Mary's Cathedral in Austin, Texas, has
been flooded with telephone calls from people hoping to learn how to
become drug dealers, after a flyer with the cathedral's phone number
was posted on cars and mail boxes throughout that city. The flyer
offers to teach people who to become drug dealers with a start-up
package which teaches where to set up shop, how to target potential
buyers and how to eliminate competitors. The flyers promise that
students can make "thousands weekly in the exciting world of drug
dealing." (Austin American-Statesman)
IT'S TRUE! HUMANS ARE GETTING MORE BLAND!
Speaking to the Royal
Society of Edinburgh in February, professor Steve Jones told the crowd
that human evolution is over. He claims that our lifestyle, with the
help of modern medicine, is ensuring that all genes, and not just the
fittest genes, are being passed on to following generations. As well,
brain size and musculature are stagnating, he says, because of
increased mobility. He concluded that humans will someday all be
brown-skinned and without sharp variations in traits. (The Observer)
WAR ON TERRORISM PROGRESS REPORT
The Times of London ran an
interesting article last week asking this question: Six months after
the attack on New York and Washington D.C., how many al-Qaeda
terrorists have been arrested? The answer: zero. Interesting what a
$100 billion War on Terrorism gets you these days, eh?
DYING WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE
After checking the environmental
friendliness of the latex material contained in a blow-up sex doll,
authorities in Germany granted official permission to 54-year-old
artist Karl-Friedrich Lentze to be buried with the doll when he dies.
(Daily Telegraph)
DELUSIONAL ARCHEOLOGY 101
A New York researcher has travelled to
Sringagar, Kashmir, to the Muslim shrine where she believes the body
of Jesus Christ is buried. Suzanne Marie Olsson is seeking permission
to exhume the body in order to extract enough tissue to do a DNA
analysis, which she plans to compare to the tissue she dug up recently
at a shrine in Pakistan which she believes belonged to Mary, mother of
Jesus. (ABC News)
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Copyright 2002 by Andreas Ohrt
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com