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March 21, 2002


STOP EATING POISON

A request through the Freedom of Information Act has unveiled a report from the American Food and Drug Administration which lists 92 symptoms caused by ingesting Aspartame. This proves what many researchers have been claiming for years, that Aspartame (particularly its methanol component) is a known toxic poison which was only approved by the FDA under political force in order to make some sick fucks great gobs of cash. The list of side effects from eating aspartame obtained from the FDA includes brain cancer, chronic fatigue, depression, hearing loss, migraines, nausea, seizures, vision loss and death. Check out the entire list and a thorough explanation of why aspartame is poisonous at www.dorway.com .


SIMULTANEOUSLY SMASHING THE RECORD FOR FAKE ORGASMS

Polish porn star Klaudia Figura has won the First Annual Gangbang Championship and set a new world sexual record by having sex with 646 men during a one-day session. In order to break the record, Figura had sex from 10 a.m. until 5:58 p.m., having the officially required 30 to 60 seconds of sexual contact with each participant. Jim Malibu, co-producer of the event, made sure there were no shortcuts. "It is amazing," he said, "Each sex contact was carefully watched, rated, and counted by a judge." No doubt. The event was also filmed by six cameras, and the video will soon be available. (www.rexmag.com)


DRUG DEALING FOR DUMMIES

St. Mary's Cathedral in Austin, Texas, has been flooded with telephone calls from people hoping to learn how to become drug dealers, after a flyer with the cathedral's phone number was posted on cars and mail boxes throughout that city. The flyer offers to teach people who to become drug dealers with a start-up package which teaches where to set up shop, how to target potential buyers and how to eliminate competitors. The flyers promise that students can make "thousands weekly in the exciting world of drug dealing." (Austin American-Statesman)



IT'S TRUE! HUMANS ARE GETTING MORE BLAND!

Speaking to the Royal Society of Edinburgh in February, professor Steve Jones told the crowd that human evolution is over. He claims that our lifestyle, with the help of modern medicine, is ensuring that all genes, and not just the fittest genes, are being passed on to following generations. As well, brain size and musculature are stagnating, he says, because of increased mobility. He concluded that humans will someday all be brown-skinned and without sharp variations in traits. (The Observer)


WAR ON TERRORISM PROGRESS REPORT

The Times of London ran an interesting article last week asking this question: Six months after the attack on New York and Washington D.C., how many al-Qaeda terrorists have been arrested? The answer: zero. Interesting what a $100 billion War on Terrorism gets you these days, eh?


DYING WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE

After checking the environmental friendliness of the latex material contained in a blow-up sex doll, authorities in Germany granted official permission to 54-year-old artist Karl-Friedrich Lentze to be buried with the doll when he dies. (Daily Telegraph)


DELUSIONAL ARCHEOLOGY 101

A New York researcher has travelled to Sringagar, Kashmir, to the Muslim shrine where she believes the body of Jesus Christ is buried. Suzanne Marie Olsson is seeking permission to exhume the body in order to extract enough tissue to do a DNA analysis, which she plans to compare to the tissue she dug up recently at a shrine in Pakistan which she believes belonged to Mary, mother of Jesus. (ABC News)




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Copyright 2002 by Andreas Ohrt
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com