December 9, 1999

TWO THUMBS UP

Kudos to all those who put their bodies on the line down in Seattle last week. It was inspiring to watch tens of thousands of protesters (including an estimated 3000 Canadians) face down the stormtroopers. Activists have claimed a victory as the WTO delegates failed to accomplish their goals amid all the hub-bub. The Direct Action Network, which was largely responsible for the organization of demonstrators, was justifiably proud: "Shutting down the WTO talks in Seattle is a testament to the power of collective, organized direct action. People's movements around the world have dragged this dracula into the sunshine of public scrutiny and the WTO is now limping back to Geneva badly wounded with its credibility plummeting by the second." Let's hope they have similar success protecting the rights of those who were arrested.

KIDS ARE SO MUCH SMARTER THESE DAYS

A five-year-old Tanzanian boy, who is said to have been born chanting "There is no other god but Allah" has travelled to at least 14 African countries, preaching to crowds of up to 60,000 enthralled Muslims. The Tanzanian newspaper Majirareports that Sheikh Sharifu has never been to school, but speaks English, Swahili, French, Arabic and other African languages, and was quoting passages from the Koran at four months of age. (London Observer)

ESP IS REAL, NOW GET BACK TO WORK

A seven-year paranormal research effort by the Sony Corporation was closed this summer after Sony concluded that ESP is real but that there was no money to be made from this knowledge! In a paper presented by Yoichiro Sako, of Sony's Extrasensory Perception and Excitation Researchlab, he explained that their greatest success was in the field of clairvoyance, the ability to get information about objects or distant events that is beyond the reach of the ordinary senses. The problem they found was that there is no technological device for Sony to patent that could harness these powers of the mind. With the conclusion of the program, a Sony spokesperson told the South China Morning Postthat "we found out experimentally that ESP exists, but that any practical application of this knowledge is not likely in the foreseeable future."

NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT

A phone sex operator in Miami has won a workers' compensation settlement after she developed carpal tunnel syndrome (repetitive motion injury) from masturbating as many as seven times a day while speaking to her customers. (Reuters)

GOOD OL' AMERICAN INGENUITY

A New Jersey man was finally caught after scamming music-by-mail CD clubs for the last four years. David Russo used 1,630 aliases and different addresses in seven towns to order 22,260 CDs at introductory member prices (about $2.50), then sold them for $10 at flea markets under the name CDs for Less. (Globe & Mail)

GOOD OL' JAPANESE INGENUITY

An unemployed man in Tokyo has created a job for himself. Jun Sato, 25, puts on his protective gear and lets people on the street put on boxing gloves and beat him. He earns 1,000 yen (US$10) for three minutes work. (Reuters)

GOD LOVES HACKERS

A truly horrific website called godhatesfags.com, which exclaims "the only lawful sexual connection is the marriage bed. All other sex activity is whoremongery and adultery, which will damn the soul forever in Hell," was recently redesigned by hackers and renamed godlovesfags.com. Their website begins with some subversive advice directly from the Bible, John 15:12: "This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you."

IF YOU CAN'T TRUST SANTA, WHO CAN YOU TRUST?

Two Swiss banks have barred Santa Claus and his elves from entering their premises this Christmas season, for fear that bank robbers could use the festive disguise in hold-ups. (Swiss Radio-Z)

Y2K HACKERS

America's National Infrastructure Protection Center(NIPC), in conjunction with the FBI and the Pentagon is setting up a 24-hour command center to guard against attacks on computers as the year 2000 approaches. Their fear is that terrorists, hostile nations, criminals and plain old hackers will launch assaults on the nation's computer systems and use Y2K malfunctions to hide their actions. Last week, the anti-virus firm Symantec Corp. discovered a virus called W32/Mypics.worm, which is set to disable computers as people try to start them up on January 1st, and they expect to find an avalanche of these types of viruses from hackers. "This is the kickoff for Y2K," the company said, "which is going to be like the Super Bowl for virus writers." (CNN & N.Y. Times)

THE COW IS OK

In Florida, a cow walking in the knee-deep water of a flooded field succeeded in causing massive traffic jams due to motorists concerned over the cow's well-being. This, and several 911 calls about a "drowning cow" prompted highway workers to set up an electronic sign that flashed "The cow is OK" to motorists. Unfortunately, this caused traffic tie-ups for two more days as everybody wanted to stop and see the cow, which by then was long gone. (Reuters)

SPAM FOR THE MASSES

The makers of Spam are opening the Spam museum, which will feature exhibits including the 108 year history of the dreaded meat by-product, and a cafeteria that will serve Spamburgers to its visitors (they deserve it). The Spam museum opens next July 1st, the 10th annual Spam Jam celebration day. (UPI)

BILLIONS AND BILLIONS SERVED

Media Metrix Inc., a company which tracks cyber traffic, recorded 32.2 billion page views in October, marking a record of over one billion hits on the internet each day in the U.S. alone. As well, Internet guru Nicholas Negroponte of MIT predicts that by the end of next year one billion people will be on the internet. (Sightings)

DOES THIS MAKE HER A NECROPHELIAC?

An Israeli woman has won a court order to obtain her recently deceased husband's semen so that she can bear his child.(UPI)

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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt (604) 803-7485
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com