February 7, 2002
SPOILS OF WAR
Probably the most disturbing site on the internet is a
collection of photos of Iraqi babies born in the past ten years with severe
birth defects. Despite denials from the Pentagon and the British Ministry
of Defense, most experts agree that exposure to Depleted Uranium (DU)
ammunition indiscriminately dumped on Iraq during the Gulf War has caused
the seven to ten-fold increase in cancers and four to six-fold increase in
birth defects in that nation. Despite these stats, the UN Sanctions
Committee refuses to permit Iraq to import the equipment they need to
decontaminate the estimated 315 tons of DU dust still poisoning the soil
and water of Iraq. Be warned, before you click over to
Extreme Deformities, this site is
extremely grotesque and disturbing.
THE TRUTH HURTS
A scale set up at a Canberra, Australia shopping centre
over the holiday season was supposed to print out your weight and spit out
a pithy little greeting about happy holidays and all that. Instead, the
machine was sent back to the manufacturer and is being investigated after
several shoppers complained that the scale had made derogatory comments
about their weight. One person was called a "fat fuck" and another received
the message "get off fat pig." (Reuters)
.
MOM WOULD BE PROUD
The World's First Annual Gangbang Championship begins
in Warsaw, Poland today, pitting Brazilian porn star Mayara, British model
Claire Browne, and Polish magazine editor Klaudia Figura against each other
to see who can screw the most men in one session. Organizers hope to smash
the world record of 620 sex partners, set by American porn star Houston in
1998. (flashnews.com)
STALKING IS A GROWTH INDUSTRY
What started out as a hoax website may yet
pan out into a legitimate business venture for "Nick," the webmaster behind
coincidencedesign.com, which offers to arrange an "accidental" meeting with
the woman of your dreams for a mere $78,000. Since only a total creep would
stoop to stalking, Coincidence Design will do it for you. "We can use a
clever pretext to interview roommates and classmates from her past and
colleagues and girlfriends from her present. We can send an agent to check
out her relatives. We can watch her apartment and squeeze information from
previous boyfriends," they promise. This site has garnered a lot of
attention and scrutiny as various folks have revealed the hoax, but the
publicity may have attracted a few applicants for whom the price tag is not
too high. "Nick" claims he is now weeding through serious responses. "I'm
surprised a business such as this doesn't exist already," he says. By the
way, he's hiring! (www.alternet.org)
WITNESS THIS!
A woman in East Sussex, UK, finally lost it after having
Jehovah's Witnesses annoy her at home every month for the last 12 years.
She waited until a Sunday morning at 10 a.m., when she knew the group held
their service, banged on their church door, then stormed into the Witness
Hall offering the congregation free magazines. (London Times)
HITLER LIVES
British journalist David Gardner has written The Last of the
Hitlers, a book based on his research into the family of William Patrick
Hitler, the son of Adolf Hitler's half-brother Alois. The Hitler family has
lived in New York city under false names for 50 years. In his interviews
with the family, Gardner discovered that the three sons of William Patrick
who are still alive have made a pact to not have children so that the
Hitler genes will die with them. (The Telegraph).
A VERITABLE ALL-YOU-CAN-SUCK BREAST BUFFET FOR BABY
Scientists at
Chicago's Reproductive Genetics Institute believe they are within 18 months
of perfecting a technique that would allow lesbian couples to have a baby
which shares both of their genes. The process, called haploidisation, uses
"artificial sperm" (yes, there is such a thing, thanks to a new process
which can create sperm from any cell in a woman's body), to fertilize
another woman's egg. (BBC)
BEAT IT, CREEP!
Next time someone harasses you for your phone number, give
them the number for the Rejection Line, at 212-479-7990. The answering
service at The Rejection Line will gladly snub that annoying pest in your
life. Here's a sample message: "Welcome to the New York City Rejection
Line. Unfortunately, the person who gave you this number does not want to
talk to you or speak to you again. We would like to take this opportunity
to officially reject you. If you want to hear from our comfort specialist,
press 1. If you want to hear a sad poem written by a kindred spirit, press
2." www.rejectionline.com
Go to:
Copyright 2002 by Andreas Ohrt
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com
