January 24, 2002
HIGH WEIRDNESS
Fortean Times: The Journal of Strange Phenomena, has
dubbed 2001 the Weirdest Year Ever, citing the discovery of new forms
of animals, increases in suicides, epidemics and disasters, and
increased cult activity after Sept. 11 in its Weirdness Index. Weird
weather also seems to be on the increase, including a bumper season
of raining frogs in southern Italy. Crocodile sightings in New York,
Vienna and Sweden, and the capture of a fish thought to have been
extinct for millions of years also contributed to 2001's Weirdness
Index.
STAY AWAY FROM A GUY WITH A KNIFE, ESPECIALLY IF HE'S A DOCTOR
A
surgeon at Rhode Island Hospital ended up operating on the wrong side
of a patient's head after the CT scan of his brain was placed
backwards on the X-ray viewing machine. After opening up the left
side of the skull and finding no abnormalities, the surgeon realized
the error and continued on the right side. Dr. Kenneth Kaizer, the
president of a group which monitors serious medical mistakes, assures
us that such surgery "occurs more frequently than a lot of people
would like to believe... with humans, there's always going to be
error." Last year, at the same hospital, a surgeon mistakenly removed
the tonsils and adenoids of a girl who was supposed to get eye
surgery. (Providence Journal)
.
MEET MY BROTHER ADOLF
Predictably, Osama bin Laden has become a hero
in the most destitute Muslim nations. In Kano, Nigeria, hospital
officials state that as many as seven out of ten baby boys born since
Sept. 11 have been named Osama. One proud poppa was quoted as saying
"I named him Osama in honour of Osama bin Laden who has proved to the
world that only Allah is invincible, by exposing America to shame
despite its claim of being the strongest nation on earth. I want my
child to imbibe his courage." (Vanguard Nigeria)
HOW ABOUT NUDE FIGURE SKATING ON FROZEN JELLO?
Following complaints
that figure skating routines are becoming too obscene (is there such
a thing?), Olympic officials in Salt Lake City (that explains it)
have banned excessively revealing routines from the sport for the
upcoming winter games. Among the forbidden manouvres are moves
such as women being held upside down with their legs spread apart.
It's a crying shame, ain't it? Nick Russell, director of the National
Ice Skating Association, said "as couples try to be more
entertaining, they produce moves that are gynecological, which is
about as politely as it can be put." And the problem is what,
exactly? (UPI)
DON'T EAT THE MONEY
If you're planning on some travel in Europe, be
careful not to eat more than 399 of the new Euro notes. "There is a
product in the ink which, if you ingest 400 notes becomes toxic,"
said European Central Bank board member Eugeno Solans. "So, besides
being expensive, it is not recommendable to eat euro notes."
(Reuters)
IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY LANGUAGE YOU CAN LECK MEIN ARSCH
Okay, it's
usually lots of fun to pick on the German language, but I'll have to
admit that if there's one thing its harsh pronunciations and
domineering tones are good for it's swearing like it's the end of the
world. What luck then, to find a website that not only has a glossary
of German swear words, but actually includes tiny little audio files
so you can practice enunciating words such as Affenschwanz (monkey
dick), Arschficker (ass fucker), Arschloch (asshole), and Fettsack
(fat bastard). All this fun, for free! Could life get any better?
(www.eat-germany.net/crap/dirtcrap.cfm)
SEX GETS BETTER
The German magazine Glamour has published a report
claiming that lots of sex may help women avoid cellulite. During sex,
they say, the female body releases an extra dose of oestrogen, which
helps strengthen body tissue and helps the skin renew itself more
quickly. Meanwhile, another report, published in the Journal of
Epidemiology and Community Health, concluded that frequent sex does
not increase the chances of a heart attack in middle-aged men.
Go to:
Copyright 2002 by Andreas Ohrt
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com
