December 6, 2001

TOYS FOR THE INNER VIOLENT MASOCHIST

The 2001 "Warped Toy List" has been released by Reverend Christopher Rose, of Hartford, Conneticut, who in 1986 began issuing the annual list of Christmas toys which he deems unsuitable for children. This year's top ten includes a toy monster which kids are encouraged to try to violently cause pain, an action figure which tries to infect his daughter with a virus, a WWF action figure with his tongue hanging out and his head between a female character's legs, and a Lord of the Rings toy which encourages children to whip a deformed newborn being. Of course, some toy manufacturers feel that making it onto the list is good for business. In 1999, Todd McFarlane's company proudly announced that their Spawn action figures hit number one. The Warped Toy List can be found at www.gracehartford.org.

PEACE ON EARTH, AT LEAST FOR AMERICA

The people of Vedic City, Iowa, population 127, claim that if their town grows to about two thousand, they will be able to prevent any future terrorist attacks against the U.S. The town was created by followers of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, who believe that transcendental meditation and yogic flying can bring peace to the entire planet. The Maharishi has claimed that the number of meditators needed for world peace is the square root of one per cent of the population, or about 7,750 participants worldwide. After Sept. 11, however, the number was raised to 40,000, and the Maharishi asked world leaders to create a $1 billion fund to support those meditating for world peace. The people of Vedic City have not set their sights quite that high though - they believe that a town of just two thousand will at least keep America safe, if not the entire world. And let's face it, that's all that really matters. (Chicago Tribune)

WIDE WORLD OF SEX

A poll of 18,500 people worldwide by condom manufacturer Durex revealed that people are having more sex and starting earlier than ever before. The world average is sex 97 times a year, with Americans leading the way, having sex 124 times per year (or maybe Americans are just the biggest liars). The Japanese have sex only 36 times per year, the lowest rate on the planet. Germans begin having sex earliest, at an average age of 16.6 years, helping to lower the world average for first sexual encounter to 18 years of age. (Reuters)

I THOUGHT MEN WERE PIGS

Scientists (if you can call them scientists) are studying women's reactions to porn films by inserting probes into their vaginas in order to record their sexual arousal. The "research," being carried out at Northwestern University, has found that woman respond equally to straight and lesbian porn. A similar study carried out last year on men found that straight men generally aren't aroused by gay porn and gay men usually aren't arounsed by straight porn. "Women, regardless of sexual orientation, respond to everything," said professor Michael Bailey. Everything? Really? (Ananova)

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE HUMILIATED, DAMN IT!

David Flood of Tampa Bay, Florida, also known as Dave the Dwarf, has filed a lawsuit challenging the state law which bans "dwarf tossing" in bars. Dwarf tossing contests were banned in 1989 after lobbying by Little People of America, a group who says "we are against dwarf tossing primarily because of the image it creates of us to the public - that we're an object to be thrown.'' But Dave the Dwarf claims the law descriminates against people who suffer from dwarfism. He says "as soon as you have a physical handicap...they treat you like you dn't have a mind of your own. Just because I'm 3-foot-2 doesn't mean I can't make decisions." (Tampa Tribune)

BLINDINGLY WILD CLAIMS

Brazilian farmer Getulio Alves claims that a mid-air collision between two UFOs created an explosion so large that it blinded his entire herd of cattle. UFO investigators are on their way to the village of Corguinho in order to find the remains of the wreckage. Five other villagers witnessed the explosion, but apart from some burned trees, no evidence has yet been found. (O Estado de Sao Paulo)

IF YOU READ IT ON THE INTERNET IT MUST BE TRUE

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (The Oregonian)

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