November 22, 2001
SPAWN OF SATAN?
In what can only be dubbed a serious freak of nature
(barring demonic possession, of course), an Italian women is currently in
the midst of a "double" pregnancy, something that happens rarely in
animals but is unheard of in humans. The 20-year-old is due to give birth
next week, and will still be pregnant with triplets who are due in about
three months. Doctors are not sure what will happen after she delivers
her first child. If both deliveries are successful, it will be the first
such case in medical history. (BBC).
ELEPHANT WAKE
Seven elephants who were killed by a speeding passenger
train near Bogapani, India, were surrounded by a herd of about 100 wild
Asiatic elephants who spent the night mourning the tragedy. The
traumatized elephants were trumpeting and letting out shrill cries
throughout the night, and several police officials reported tears rolling
down the eyes of the creatures. Rantu Das, a police official, said they
"were behaving like humans beings mourning the deaths of dear ones...the
way they were crying...brought tears to the eyes of the policemen and
villagers." (Indian Asian News Service)
RAT ATTACK
The city of Rio de Janeiro - which is estimated to harbour
ten rats for every person - has come up with massive rat-kill program
that involves applying rat poison throughout the city sewers, abandoned
buildings, and other suspect locations, then offering the residents of
that city $2 for every pound of dead rat they find. Officials hope to
collect up to 5 tons of dead rats in the first 20 days of the program,
but also fear that the poorest residents will begin breeding rats in
order to slaughter them and collect the reward. (Reuters)
GLUTTONS FOR PUNISHMENT WANTED
The Mars Society is looking for
volunteers to build a research camp on Devon Island in the Arctic Circle,
in order to practice working under extreme conditions similar to those
which might be found on Mars. Applicants must be between 19 and 60 years
of age, in good physical conditions, and of course, be completely out of
their friggin' minds. You can sign up at www.marssociety.org.
WATCH WHAT YOU EAT
If you haven't bothered to educate yourself about
Genetically Modified Organisms yet, a good place to start might be
www.fishtomato.com. What's a fishtomato? US Patent No. 91-079-01 is a
tomato which has an antifreeze gene from a winter flounder spliced into
its genetic material. Sound tasty? After you've learned about the
"wonders" of Frankenfood, you can go ahead and sign the on-line petition,
which demands mandatory labeling of genetically engineered food in
Canada.
OOOH, WE'RE SCARED!
Jehovah Wanyonyi, of the "Lost Israelites" religion
in Kenya, has threatened to bring a curse on that country if the
government does not give him $3.8 million dollars. Wanyonyi preaches that
the end times are near, and AIDS was a plague sent down by God. He claims
that he can bring similar devastation to Kenya if his demands are not
met. Remarkably, the government of Kenya is ignoring him. (BBC)
DOG BOY ESCAPES
A boy in Chile who was found last June living with a
pack of dogs has escaped from a children's home where he was being cared
for. The 10-year-old "Dog Boy" had been found scavenging for food with 15
wild dogs and had been sleeping in a cave. The boy told childcare workers
that he had sucked the milk from a pregnant dog to ward off starvation.
(Reuters)
END OF AN ERA
One of the most famous sideshow freaks of the twentieth
century died last week at the age of 94. Melvin Burkhart, aka the Human
Blockhead, was proud to be a freak and performed for over 60 years. "It
takes something special to be a freak," he once told a reporter, "you
can't just put on some feathers and call yourself 'Birdman.' I qualify
because nobody can do the things I can do." Along with the regular stunts
including sword-swallowing and fire-eating, Burkhart was most famous for
his ability to drive a 5-inch-nail into his face. (Tampa Tribune)
IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES AN EYE
A 20-year-old woman
with a black belt in karate lost her left eye after asking a student to
shoot an arrow at her which she intended to catch in mid-air. The stunt
went seriously wrong when the arrow bounced off her arm and entered her
eye socket. Shocked students at the dojo called an ambulance, and then
proceeded to pull the arrow from her head, dislodging the eye out of its
socket. (Jersey Journal)
SHOOT THE TELETUBBIES
If you're a parent there's probably nothing you
hate more that the squeaky-voiced hypnotic aliens who are warping your
kid's brain and turning her or him into a glassy-eyed little troll. Now,
get your revenge, at a website called "Shoot The Teletubbies." Yes, it's
as simplistic as the TV show, but much more satisfying. (www.servus.at/dns/tele/)
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Copyright 2001 by Andreas Ohrt
(604) 603-4699
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com