November 25, 1999

ANARCHISTS OF THE WORLD UNITE:

Tuesday, Nov. 30, in defiance of the World Trade Organization's (WTO) ministerial in Seattle, is "Global Day of Action Against the Capitalist System!" The Anarchist Survival Guide to the WTOlays out some good advice for the shit-disturbers. Among the mundane news on where to squat and how to keep warm and dry (don't forget your waterproof drum), is some surreal but unfortunately necessary info for hardcore civil disobedience: "Gas masks: use only current military or police designs. Don't try any old ones...as many used asbestos in the filters!" It also lists a few handy recipes for neutralizing tear gas once you've been sprayed, but warns "if you are sprayed with tear gas, you will probably not be able to read these instructions, let alone find them‹so study this before you need it." That's good advice, but wouldn't it be easier to just beat up a cop and wear his uniform as a disguise?

LIVING IN DENIAL:

Geoffrey C. Bible, CEO of Philip Morris, tries to rationalize his company's deadly products: "What do you think smokers would do if they didn't smoke? You get some pleasure from it, and you also get some other beneficial things, such as stress relief. Nobody knows what you'd turn to if you didn't smoke. Maybe you'd beat your wife. Maybe you'd drive cars fast. Who knows what the hell you'd do." (Briarpatch magazine)

A LACK OF PERSPECTIVE:

A poll conducted by the New York Posthad over 19,000 Americans choose the 25 most evil people of the millennium. Bill Clinton came in second, directly after Adolf Hitler and just ahead of Josef Stalin, and Hillary Clinton ranked sixth, just behind Josef Mengele and Pol Pot, but well ahead of Charles Manson, Genghis Khan, Jeffrey Dahmer and Vlad the Impaler.

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK:

According to the group Homes Not Bombs,the Canadian government could have built 12,000 affordable housing units last spring instead of spending $482,500,000 killing Serbs and Albanian Kosovars during the 78-day NATO bombing campaign.

BRILLIANT STRATEGISTS:

When asked about their Y2K plans, a member of Indonesia's National Electric Board replied: "We can observe what happens (at midnight on Dec. 31) in Western Somoa, New Zealand and Australia, and still have six hours to make plans." (Tasty Bits from the Technology Front, www.tbtf.com)

Y2K WORD GAMES:

Someone out there with too much time on their hands has discovered that if you rearrange the letters in the words "Year Two Thousand" you can spell "A Year To Shut Down".

ANY EXCUSE FOR A WEEK OFF WORK:

The web magazine Millennium Hellhas proposed that the last week of 1999 be declared a national holiday. "Millenium Hell Week" co-creator David Hernandez says "Mankind has worked hard for 2000 years. It seems like people deserve a breather. A chance to sit back, relax and have some fun‹especially if it really does turn out to be the end of the world as we know it."

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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt (604) 803-7485
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com