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October 4, 2001

THE MOTHER OF ALL SARCASM

Leave it to Saddam Hussein to come up with the first volley of dark, dark humour since the terrorist attack in New York. The Iraqi president told the BBC that the United States should have requested Iraq's help in rescuing those buried under the World Trade Centers, as his country had acquired great expertise in rescuing victims due to U.S. bombings during the Gulf War. He went on to state that Iraq would have been happy to help restore water, electricity and telephone service in New York, as the Iraqis have become experts in restoring essential services though years of experience gained after thousands of tons of bombs were dropped on Iraq by the U.S.


WHERE'S ECHELON WHEN YOU REALLY NEED IT?

Where was Echelon while those psychos were planning their attack? You know, the satellite system that records every phone call, email, and fax transmission worldwide. I guess it's true that it's been used more for industrial espionage than finding terrorists. Money talks, after all. The F.B.I. even let it slip that they were using recordings of cell phones from people on board the doomed flights as evidence, unwittingly admitting that yes, indeed, all phone calls are recorded. That's comforting. Anyway, I wonder if Jam Echelon Day is going to continue. The plan had been, on Oct. 21, to send out as many messages with "trigger words" as possible, in order to crash the system. Somehow I think it'll be cancelled. I'll keep you updated.


BUSINESS AS USUAL

Remember that scene in Fight Club where the protagonist explains his job for "a major car company"? Well, I finally found the case on which that was based, in the book You Are Being Lied To. Get this: In 1973, the Ford Motor Company knew that some of its models leaked fuel when they turned over - leading to fires and explosions - and that this could be fixed by installing an $11 valve. Ford crunched the numbers and figured that if they did nothing, the fuel leakage would result in 180 deaths, 180 serious injuries and 2,100 burned vehicles. Then they figured that each death would cost them an average of $200,000 in legal fees, settlements, etc.; each serious injury would cost them $67,000; and each burned vehicle would result in a $700 tab. Total cost: $49.5 million. On the other hand, recalling 12.5 million vehicles and replacing an $11 valve would cost $137 million. It was cheaper to do nothing, so they did nothing. Heartwarming, ain't it? (Mother Jones)



A SMALL PRICE TO PAY

In an effort to reintroduce "chastity and traditional values," the king of Swaziland has forbidden Swazi men from having sex with teenage girls for the next five years. A fine of one cow will be levied on any Swazi girl who becomes pregnant out of wedlock, and any man who impregnates and unmarried teenage girl over the next five years. (Reuters)


EAT WELL AND MEDITATE, OR GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL

A group of volunteers at a Mexico City prison will soon be testing whether a diet rich in iron and calcium will reduce violent behaviour, based on studies done by the California-based Violence Research Foundation. A previous experiment on 133 American prisoners found that violence fell by 38 per cent during a six-month dietary trial. Meanwhile, in various prisons worldwide, a form of Vipassana Meditation has been tested at a number of prisons and found that prisoners who meditate were less prone to depression, feelings of hostility or hopelessness, and were less likely to form drug or alcohol addictions. (BBC/Reuters)


FOR THE VOYEUR AND MASOCHIST WITHIN

Ugghhh.... I just overdosed on creepiness over at www.psychoexgirlfriend.com. Seems that this guy, Mark, was receiving so many freaky messages from his ex he decided to share his pain with the world, and set up this site where you can hear all of her chillingly psychotic voicemails. Very strange entertainment, indeed. Be warned, it's highly unpleasant.


NO, REALLY, PLANE TRAVEL IS SAFE

I really meant to write about this site before Sept. 11, but what can you do? I guess it's not quite as funny anymore, but that's tough. Click on over to amigoingdown.com, where you have the chance to fill in the information for any plane travel you plan on doing, and the happy little computer will tell you what your chances are of going down. Cute, isn't it? I plugged in a proposed trip to Las Vegas in November, and have a 1 in 4 million chance of crashing. They didn't calculate for terrorists, of course, so I guess that skews the odds somewhat.



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Copyright 2001 by Andreas Ohrt (604) 603-4699
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com