September 13, 2001
LOOKING FOR FREAKY STORIES
An internet radio program based out of Markham,
Ontario is searching for Canadians with strange tales to tell for upcoming
episodes. The 'X' Zone Radio/TV show is searching for paranomal stories
including UFO encounters, alien abductions, lake monster sightings, bigfoot
sightings, ghost stories, hauntings, unsolved mysteries and First Nations
legends. Contact executive producer Rob McConnell at xmediagroup@hotmail.com.
Check out their website at www.xzone-radio.com.
THE MESSAGE FROM THE EXTRATERRESTRIALS
Remember last week's news of some
strange crop circle-type arrangements that seemed to mimic a message sent out
by Earth scientists in the early '70s. Well, believe it or not, someone has
gone and "decoded" that message. Here goes: "Hello Earth. We are replying to
your message describing yourselves - which we have understood. We are also a
hydrocarbon lifeform with similar mathematics and logic. We are sending an
image of our face which shows us humanoid like you. However we have a slightly
different DNA structure and we are smaller than you, with very large heads. We
inhabit three of the planets in our solar system. We did not use a radio
telescope to send you this message but a beam technology. We used a hyperspace
capability to intercept your spacetime message and are using hyperspace also
to reply." (www.psyopnews.com)
MANUFACTURING DISEASE
One of the most fascinating and terrifying subjects in
the conspiracy theory field is the story of how the American military created
the AIDS virus in the early '80s (check out Len Horowitz's Emerging Viruses
for all the horrific details). Last Monday Libya's Muammar Gaddafi brought the
issue back into the news, stating that "evidence exists now that America set
off the AIDS virus when it launched its bacterial defense programs in the
early '80s." He went on to demand that the U.S. take full responsibility for
the care of millions of AIDS sufferers worldwide. (Reuters)
EAT THE VOTE
Well, you would think that the government of Canada had better
things to do with our tax money, but you'd be wrong. Last week, three members
of the Edible Ballot Society were charged after a year-long investigation by
Elections Canada. About 100 people ate their ballots during the last federal
election, as a symbol of their refusal "to particiapte in a system where
casting a vote for some lying tool once every four years passes for
democracy." Those who ate their ballots face up to five years in jail or a
fine of up to $5000. Get more info at edibleballot.tao.ca, where you can
make a donation to the "Edible Ballot Society Legal Defence and Kitchen
Appliance Fund."
CHARMING PRISON STORIES
A federal appeals court in the U.S. has given a
41-year-old California inmate the right to send his semen in the mail so that
he may artificially inseminate his wife. (dailynews.com)
NOTHING A COUPLE OF BARBITURATES COULDN'T HAVE SOLVED
Archbishop Henry
D'Souza of Calcutta has revealed that Mother Teresa had an exorcism performed
on her while she was in the hospital with cardiac problems towards the end of
her life. The archbiship had noticed that Mother Teresa was "extremely
agitated...and might be under the attack of the evil one," so he enlisted a
Calcutta holy man to exorcise her. Afterwards, he says, "she slept like a
baby." (CNN)
DEAD CAN'T DANCE
Even dead people are bored of listening to Wind Beneath My
Wings and Candle in the Wind - two of the most played songs at funerals. Their
is such a dearth of good funeral songs that an Oklahoma-based music producer
is offering $500 and a publishing contract for the next big funeral hit. Get
all the details at www.spotlighstars.com.
OLD NEWS
Geneticists from Harvard University and two Boston hospitals have
started searching for the gene that causes people to live beyond
100-years-old, and hope someday to create a pill that will help people live
longer and be healthier in their old age. The quest began after researchers
studied the genetic make-up of 137 people over the age of 98, and found that
lifestyle choices were not indicative of long-life. This leads researchers to
believe that our genes probably determine what age we will live to. (The
Telegraph)
TALKING SAUSAGE! THAT'S RICH!
British psychologist Richard Wiseman has set up
www.laughlab.co.uk in order to find the "world's funniest joke." The website
will accept submissions for six months, after which volunteers will listen to
the finalists while undergoing a brain scan. Here's one: "there are two
sausages sizzling in a frying pan. The one turns to the other and says "geez,
it's hot in here" and the second one turns around and goes "AAAAH!, a talking
sausage".
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Copyright 2001 by Andreas Ohrt
(604) 603-4699
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com
