September 30, 1999
BORED OF YOUR TIRED OLD RELIGION?
Try the International Raelian
Religion, the most politically incorrect and fearlessly
individualistic philosophy of non-conformism, at least according
to their free literature. Founded by French journalist Rael in
1973 after an encounter with the "Elohim", he wrote
Extraterrestrials took me to their planet, which led to his
master plan of building an embassy on earth to welcome the
return of our creators (humanity is their genetic science
experiment). Since the 70s his books have been repackaged with
the equally cheesy title The True Face of God, and the
"religion" has reached into 85 countries, recently arriving here
in Vancouver. Local Raelians will be gathering next Thursday,
October 7, "an important day in the history of humanity", to
celebrate "the extraordinary voyage of our Beloved Prophet on
the planet of the Eternals". Consider yourself warned.
ADDICTED TO HELL
According to the updated
"indulgences" of the Catholic Church‹the Enchiridion
Indulgentiarum‹giving up smoking will increase your chances of
getting into heaven.
DON'T DRINK THE WATER
A report released by the U.S. Geological Survey entitled
"The Quality of Our Nation's Waters", reveals that the largest
and most important river basins in the U.S. (and, no doubt,
Canada) contain 83 pesticides and breakdown products in the
water and 32 pesticides in fish or streambed sediment. Some of
the delicious ingredients in our "fresh" water include atrazine,
metolachlor, alachlor, cyanazine, diazinon, carbaryl, malathion,
and the ever-popular DDT ("banned" in the 1970s). These may be
great words for the scrabble board, but a bit troubling in our
drinking water, dontcha think?
CHEAPER THAN eBAY
The
Turkish media reports that people are cutting open the bodies of
victims of last month's earthquake in order to sell their organs
to the Turkish "organ mafia", which buys kidneys and other
organs and sells them to wealthy Europeans needing transplants.
(www.nandotimes.com)
THAT'LL SHOW 'EM
A Columbian Indian
tribe has threatened to jump off the 425-metre Andean "Cliff of
Glory" in a collective suicide if oil development proceeds on
their ancestral lands. Unfazed, Occidental Petroleum Corp. said
drilling will begin in mid-2000. (National Post)
YOU KILL ME
India's Dead Person's Association, the Mritak
Sangh,now claims over ten thousand members. These are people
trying to prove they are still alive, despite being declared
officially dead. Most are victims of greedy relatives who report
them dead and have the "deceased" person's land transferred to
them.
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Copyright 2000 by Andreas Ohrt
(604) 803-7485
Email:aohrt@hotmail.com
Website:www.curioustimes.com