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No.
512 - July 2, 2009
Pissy Wine, Stoned Wallabies, Robot Footballers
I LOVE MOMMY... I MEAN MONEY
A Brooklyn man’s six-year-long impersonation of his dead
mother came to end last week when police finally busted his scam
to collect her social security checks. Thomas Parkin, 49, regularly
dressed up in a wig, sunglasses, nail polish, red lipstick, and
his mom’s old clothes in order to cash her benefits which
have totaled over $100,000 since 2003. The scheme began to unravel
last year when Parkin filed bankruptcy for his mom so that “she” could
get up to $40,000 in subsidies to help pay for her mortgage. Parkin
defended himself to the officer’s by claiming that he had
actually taken over his mom’s identity. “I held my
mother when she was dying and breathed in her last breath, so I
am my mother,” he told investigators. Nevertheless, Parkins
is now being charged with 47 counts including grand larceny, perjury,
forgery and conspiracy. (NBCNewYork.com)
AS LONG AS IT GETS ME DRUNK
A six-year long, $12 million study of New Zealand’s wines
had discovered that one of the core aromas of their most popular
wines is the smell of cat pee. "We're talking about parts
per billion, very tiny amounts to make the wine more complex and
interesting,'' explained so-called wine connoisseur Sue Blackmore. “If
you had a whole lot of the compounds that give you cat’s
pee it obviously wouldn’t be great but it’s amazing
what a little can do.’’ (News.com.au)
HAIR TODAY, JAILED TOMORROW
Here's the strangest mugshot
you'll see in quite some time, taken of a drug dealer who was arrested
half way through his appointment at the hair stylist. While getting
his hair braided Marcus Bailey, 25, got a call from some dudes
who wanted to buy some crack. So he stepped outside into a car
to complete the transaction at which point police nabbed him and
took him into custody. The result is this lovely photo that will
surely be a hit with the larger, stronger men he’ll meet
in prison. (CourierPress.com)
DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY
The latest psychological studies of old folks has found that perfectionism
takes a harsh toll on health and life expectancy. The research
published in the Journal
of Health Psychology found that people “who expressed
a strong motivation to be perfect” were over 50 percent more
likely to die over the course of the study. On the other hand,
the traits of conscientiousness, extroversion and optimism significantly
lowered the risk of an early death.
CURIOUS HEADLINE OF THE WEEK
As seen at the BBC: “Stoned
Wallabies Make Crop Circles.”
BUT THE HOOLIGANS WILL KICK ROBOT ASS IN THE POST-GAME RIOTS
A team of Japanese robotics engineers have thrown down the gauntlet
to the world’s greatest football (i.e. soccer) players, saying
that a team of robots will hoist the World Cup by the year 2050.
Shu Ishiguro, head of the Robot Laboratory in Osaka, Japan, issued
the challenge, saying that “by 2050 our aim is to beat the
winners of football’s World Cup and we are very confident
that we will be able to do that.” For now, their 38 centimeter
(15 inch) tall robot, VisiON, has been designed to make its own
decisions completely independent of human control, and has also
learned to recognize a football and give it a good kick. VisiON
also has rudimentary defensive skills, being able to identify opponents
and shield possession of the ball. One great advantage the robot
possesses is 360 degree vision. In preparation for its inevitable
World Cup championship, cocky programmers have already perfected
the robot’s victory stance. (The
Scotsman)
HOW DO YOU SPELL TXT?
A 15-year-old girl from Des Moines, Iowa won the Third Annual Texting
Championship last week after beating out 250,000 competitors while
texting blindfolded and texting while walking on a treadmill.The
girl claims to have built up her skills by sending over 14,000
text messages every month to her friends, who probably which she
would give them a break. Meanwhile, on the other end of the generational
mad-skillz spectrum, a 51-year-old Virginian man finally won his
first national spelling bee after once losing the Scripps National
Spelling Bee when he was 13 years old. (LGTexter.comYahoo
News)
I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK
72 per cent of pet owners kiss their pets before they kiss their
spouse after getting home from work, and 18 per cent of pet owners
consider their pet a "genius."
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Copyright
2009 by Andreas Ohrt
Write
to curious_times(at)hotmail.com
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